Time to Play!

I don't know how to sew.  Let's just get that out in the open right now.  Despite an A in Home Ec and a successfully made quillow, I simply have no clue how to make anything.  Which seems crazy, because I've helped costume several shows and I can run a seam through the sewing machine like nobody's business! :)  And here's where my latest adventure comes in.


I just spent a wonderful Easter with the Butt family.  As I had a few days off from school, I stayed at the Butt house and helped with costuming for Through the Looking Glass (did I mention that I don't know how to sew, friends?).  


I learned to sew a pinafore and a pair of knickers, cut out some butterfly wings and a Humpty Dumpty costume.  I'll post pictures of my finished products later, but for today I just wanted to let you know I've been up to lately.  All of this happened with minimal blood loss (there was some) and no tears.  And I didn't die!!!  Hurray!


If you get a chance, you should come see Charlotte Christian Theatre Company's production of Through the Looking Glass.

It's this Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.  Check out the Facebook event for more information!

It's time to play! :)

This Is Not My Idea . . .

This morning when I woke up, I needed a little throwback to being a kid again.  These two clips are some of my favorite memories. :)


For some reason, I really loved obscure musical animated films when I was little.  I watched Happily Ever After:  The Snow White Story Continues as well as many others that I bet you've never heard of. :)  As long as they sang and danced, I was happy.  


One of my favorites was Thumbelina.  I think I secretly wanted to be the fairy princess when I grew up too.  I remember my mom taking me to this special theater in Raleigh where you sat at tables and ordered dinner to eat while you watched your movie.  And we saw Thumbelina there for the first time.  This has always been my favorite number from the movie, and I could still sing it even when I hadn't seen the movie for years! :)

In actuality, I don't remember watching The Swan Princess as a little kid.  I do however remember watching it when I was 15 years old and home from school with the worst (and only) case of the flu I've ever had.  Toon Disney was running a marathon of all three Swan Princess movies on repeat all day.  I think somehow in my feverish haze, between sleeping off and on all day I managed to cobble together all the pieces and see all three of the movies. This was absolutely my favorite number from the first movie, and sometimes when I don't like whatever I have to do that day, I sing to myself, "This is not my idea . . . of fun!" :)

Of course, I was a HUGE lover of all things Disney (and still am!).  Every summer when we would visit my dad's family in Wisconsin, we would go to the theater to see the new Disney movie that was out.  My first memories of going to see a movie in a theater are of The Lion King, Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin.  The Little Mermaid was my very favorite movie growing up--I watched it so many times the VHS doesn't work any more!  Now Beauty and the Beast takes the cake for me in terms of my favorite movie.  I think it's because the music and scenes make it so much like a musical rather than a children's film.  Plus, it doesn't hurt that it's about a brown-haired, brown-eyed girl who loves to read and receives the BEST library ever! :)

So how about you?  What were your favorite movies as a kid?

Many are the Plans . . .

The other day a dear friend of mine's husband said to me, "I hope you know that God is grooming you for something big.  Because we see it.  And we're excited about it for you."


This small statement really encouraged and terrified me.  Lately, I've been in a season where it's been hard for me to see my growth in my relationship with the Lord.  This is an ongoing process and I seem to be learning my lessons (but slowly).  Sometimes it's hard to mark where I've come from and how God has worked.  So, it was very exciting for me to hear that God had given others I respect a vision of how He is working in my life.  


I have always been the girl with the plan.  The one who knew where she was headed, how she was going to get there, and what she would do once she arrived.  But God has been slowly working in my heart, showing me the adventure of following step by step rather than assuming I know what's best.  And that's the part that's scary for me.  The not knowing.  The need for faith instead of having already decided on a course of action.  


Right now, the future seems unclear for me.  As you readers know (or maybe you don't), I am currently working on an Master of Arts in English, with a focus in Rhetoric and Composition.  This means that I'll teach either high school English (my undergraduate degree) or college freshmen in Composition 101.  And I really, really enjoy this.  

May 2010 undergraduate graduation

With several members of the marvelous English faculty at Gardner-Webb University 

But I also have a HUGE passion for Christian theatre.  It's something I've been involved with since I was 6 years old, and it makes me excited for what God wants to do in the arts. 

Me at age 7 in Little Women

In Genesius at age 18

After May 2012 (when I finish my MA), there seems to be a huge, thick veil drawn across the future.  It's as though I have two paths set before me, both of which I could enjoy.  I could teach high school or college English, helping students think critically and make meaning of their world through writing and reading.  

Reading with Dad, around age 4

Writing while studying abroad in Wales

OR I could do theater, pouring into kids and directing them.  I feel that theater is where my strongest passion lies.  It's what moves me to tears, gets me excited, and makes me as giddy as a little kid on Christmas morning.  

Good News, Scrooge in 2004 (?)

As Madame Thenardier in Les Miserables (2005)

The choice seems easy, doesn't it?  But then I start to ask "What If?"  And I start to worry--how will I have any money to eat?  Where will I live?  Where will my insurance come from?  What if that ends up not being what I want to do?  What if I'm not any good at it?


And then God steps in and says, "Carrie, don't you see that I can handle this?  I see where you're headed.  I know what I have in store for you.  And I LOVE you. Rest in that.  I've got this."


And I'm learning.  Pray with me, friends.  God's got something BIG in store, and I'm very excited about it.  :)

"Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand" ~ Proverbs 19:21

The Joy you Feel

Because today is Saturday.


Because I just watched two dear friends of mine be united in marriage this afternoon and I am beyond thrilled for them! :)


Because I'm a recent fan of The Civil Wars.


And because I love good music, I thought I would share the link to a beautiful song.


Enjoy!

"To Whom It May Concern"

Why are you so far from me?
In my arms is where you ought to be
How long will you make me wait?
I don't know how much more I can take

I missed you
But I haven't met you
Oh but I want to
How I do

Slowly counting down the days
Till I finally know your name
Ooo the way your hand feels round my waist
The way you laugh
The way your kisses taste

I missed you
But I haven't met you
Oh but I want to
How I do, How I do

I've missed you
But I haven't met you
Oh I missed you
I haven't met you
Oh but I want to
Oh how I want to

Dear whoever you might be
I'm still waiting patiently. 

Who Is and Not "What If"

God has really been dealing with me on dwelling in peace lately.  You see--and I'm about to get very honest here, blog friends--I have really struggled with fear and anxiety.   I'm not sure why this has been such an issue for me.  God has provided me with an amazing home and family and friends.  He has always met every need that I've ever had--I've never wanted for anything that I needed and He's provided so much more than I could ever imagine.  This was something that I thought had been conquered--God had given me victory, and I imagined that this issue would never rear its ugly head again.  

But I was incorrect.  

I think part of struggling with anxiety has to do with me simply not trusting that God is Who He says He is--sovereign, powerful, good, true, faithful.  While I know these things to be true (imagine me pointing to my head here, dear readers) I don't always live like they are a reality in my life.  I fret and worry about things that are either out of my control or will never happen.  By imagining "what if" I am forgetting "what is."  Or rather Who Is--Alpha, Omega, Jehovah Jireh, Yahweh, Elohim, The Lord Most High.  

And this is wrong.

Lately, though, I've been learning that by dwelling on what I know to be TRUE and Who I know to be TRUE, I can change my response to these situations where anxiety might seem a logical reaction.  In actuality, I can do none of this myself.  It's the Holy Spirit working in and through me.  And He's using a variety of circumstances and people to teach me this lesson.

Two Sundays ago, one of our pastors (Mickey) at Crossway Community Church preached about Jesus calming the storm on the Sea of Galilee.  This is a story I have a heard a billion times, having been blessed to grow up in church and Christian school.  However, the way Mickey addressed the story was different and very applicable to me in my life right now.  The disciples should have been rational and realized that Jesus would not let anything happen to them--but fear overwhelms rationality.  I had said these very words when speaking to my parents about why I was so filled with irrational fear.  Mickey said this fear overwhelmed everything the disciples had known about Jesus.  They weren't thinking of His past care for them and how He'd always been faithful before.

And I've been there.  I've let fear overwhelm me to the point where it supersedes what I know to be true about my Sovereign God.  When the storms of life hit, they always seem stronger to us than God's Word.  But what do we know to be stronger--the God Who created us or the storm that surrounds us?  As Mickey said, it's important to remember that the same voice that spoke the winds and waves into being speaks them into submission.  Nothing is out of God's control or too big that God can't handle it.

Why do I ever doubt?

If we fear God (and I mean fear in the holy, awesome, knock your socks off kind of way), we need NEVER fear anyone or anything else, because God is much bigger than these storms that come our way.

I have a lot to be thankful for.  As I said, God has provided so much for me and I am exceedingly blessed beyond measure.  These areas where I fail are so difficult, but God is so faithful to lovingly teach me these lessons.  Seeing God provide so faithfully boosts my faith and removes fear.  I have nothing to fear thanks to a God Who knows all my needs, provides for them, and loves me unconditionally.  I have to be continually on my guard against fear and anxiety.  I know that God is moving and working.  I'm excited for where I believe He's leading me--although a lot of areas are still unknown, I can see glimpses of what He's up to. :)  More to come on that as well . . .   

For now, I will leave you with a hilarious Photo Booth picture.  I'm grateful for godly friends who push me and love me.  Like this one:

PS. You can check out the past two Sundays sermons--and others--HERE.  The sermon I mentioned specifically in this post is from April 3rd by Mickey Connolly and is entitled "Jesus Calms the Storm."

Glorious

I'm really bad at this blogging thing.  After this semester is over, I'm going to make it my goal to blog more.  I don't know what humorous anecdotes I'll come up with to tell you guys, but I'm sure something is always going on that's worth sharing.  


So much is going on in my life right now.  We are headed into final two weeks for Charlotte Christian Theatre Company's Production of Through the Looking Glass!  

Awesome promotional photo drawn by one of our cast members, Rebekah Chacko :)

The students are doing an amazing job.  On Monday night at rehearsal, God really impressed upon my heart to pray for the young lady praying Alice.  We gathered around her, and it really turned into this sweet time of calling on the Lord to meet our needs in the next few weeks as things get crazy.  I was so honored to be working with these righteous young people and to see their hearts.  God is so good!


I'm in the final 3 weeks of my first year of grad school!  It's hard to believe that school as I know it will end a year from now.  What a crazy time of the semester!  Everyone else seems to be panicking because deadlines are coming up and there are a million things due.  However, the way I see it is:  in three weeks this will all be over.  I've never NOT gotten everything done before, so why should this time be any different?  Sure, I'll have to do a lot of hard work, but honestly, I know it's going to get done.  So, why not just breathe?


It's easy to imagine that with all this craziness going on, I would be stressed out or anxious.  And to be completely honest, I'm truly surprised that I am not more uptight.  Normally at this point in the semester I am really freaking out, looking something like this:

But this year is different.


God's been gracious to give me a lot of chances to really talk to Him about what's going on in my life.  As I pray for those around me, I find myself becoming less and less worried.  


I'll be posting about this more in the upcoming days, but for now I'll just leave you with this song:

"Glorious" by Paul Baloche

Look inside the mystery,
See the empty cross
See the risen Saviour,
Victorious and strong
No one else above Him
None as strong to save
He alone has conquered,
The power of the grave
  
Glorious, my eyes have the seen the glory of the Lord
Glorious, He stands above the rulers of the Earth

Look beyond the tombstone
See the living God
See the resurrected
The ruler of my heart
No one else above him
None to match his worth
The hope of his returning
Fills the universe

Glorious, my eyes have the seen the glory of the Lord
Glorious, He stands above the rulers of the Earth
Glorious, glorious
Lord, You  are glorious

Revision is forgiveness

Since I am spending bookoos of time revising project after project, I thought I would share one of my favorite quotes about revision:


"Revision is hope.  We live our 'one, wild and precious life,' as Mary Oliver calls it, only once, but we get to reconsider it dozens of times along the way. . . .


Revision is like the layers of soil in Italian vineyards, like the layers of ancient civilizations beneath modern cities, like the layers of DNA in the oldest variety of grape, grafted by vintners over centuries into new varieties of grape, always in pursuit of the finest wine.


Revision is a second, third, fourth, even a twentieth chance.


We can revise our life.  We can revise our teaching.  We can revise the way we operate in the world.  Think about revision in the largest sense, of imagining things as if they could be otherwise, as Maxine Green says.


Revision is forgiveness."


~ Katherine Bomer -- Writing a Life




In other news--only a month until school/finals/papers/projects are done!  Excited to be able to check in more with you then.  :)