Who Is and Not "What If"

God has really been dealing with me on dwelling in peace lately.  You see--and I'm about to get very honest here, blog friends--I have really struggled with fear and anxiety.   I'm not sure why this has been such an issue for me.  God has provided me with an amazing home and family and friends.  He has always met every need that I've ever had--I've never wanted for anything that I needed and He's provided so much more than I could ever imagine.  This was something that I thought had been conquered--God had given me victory, and I imagined that this issue would never rear its ugly head again.  

But I was incorrect.  

I think part of struggling with anxiety has to do with me simply not trusting that God is Who He says He is--sovereign, powerful, good, true, faithful.  While I know these things to be true (imagine me pointing to my head here, dear readers) I don't always live like they are a reality in my life.  I fret and worry about things that are either out of my control or will never happen.  By imagining "what if" I am forgetting "what is."  Or rather Who Is--Alpha, Omega, Jehovah Jireh, Yahweh, Elohim, The Lord Most High.  

And this is wrong.

Lately, though, I've been learning that by dwelling on what I know to be TRUE and Who I know to be TRUE, I can change my response to these situations where anxiety might seem a logical reaction.  In actuality, I can do none of this myself.  It's the Holy Spirit working in and through me.  And He's using a variety of circumstances and people to teach me this lesson.

Two Sundays ago, one of our pastors (Mickey) at Crossway Community Church preached about Jesus calming the storm on the Sea of Galilee.  This is a story I have a heard a billion times, having been blessed to grow up in church and Christian school.  However, the way Mickey addressed the story was different and very applicable to me in my life right now.  The disciples should have been rational and realized that Jesus would not let anything happen to them--but fear overwhelms rationality.  I had said these very words when speaking to my parents about why I was so filled with irrational fear.  Mickey said this fear overwhelmed everything the disciples had known about Jesus.  They weren't thinking of His past care for them and how He'd always been faithful before.

And I've been there.  I've let fear overwhelm me to the point where it supersedes what I know to be true about my Sovereign God.  When the storms of life hit, they always seem stronger to us than God's Word.  But what do we know to be stronger--the God Who created us or the storm that surrounds us?  As Mickey said, it's important to remember that the same voice that spoke the winds and waves into being speaks them into submission.  Nothing is out of God's control or too big that God can't handle it.

Why do I ever doubt?

If we fear God (and I mean fear in the holy, awesome, knock your socks off kind of way), we need NEVER fear anyone or anything else, because God is much bigger than these storms that come our way.

I have a lot to be thankful for.  As I said, God has provided so much for me and I am exceedingly blessed beyond measure.  These areas where I fail are so difficult, but God is so faithful to lovingly teach me these lessons.  Seeing God provide so faithfully boosts my faith and removes fear.  I have nothing to fear thanks to a God Who knows all my needs, provides for them, and loves me unconditionally.  I have to be continually on my guard against fear and anxiety.  I know that God is moving and working.  I'm excited for where I believe He's leading me--although a lot of areas are still unknown, I can see glimpses of what He's up to. :)  More to come on that as well . . .   

For now, I will leave you with a hilarious Photo Booth picture.  I'm grateful for godly friends who push me and love me.  Like this one:

PS. You can check out the past two Sundays sermons--and others--HERE.  The sermon I mentioned specifically in this post is from April 3rd by Mickey Connolly and is entitled "Jesus Calms the Storm."